Monday, May 16, 2011

Once upon a time on a Battlefield

Once upon a time there was this place people called it the "Battlefield" it had its small crater (because we wouldn't call it a battlefield if it didn't had a crater), it's wonderful blown up in half building, a ruin that looked like it should be used on warhammer fantasy battles, two building's that looked like they didn't served any purpose, three trees (where a family of raccoons used to live)  a hill and tank traps (like the ones for mice but bigger).

Oh and it was completely covered in something grey.

The Battlefield was quiet and its residents, the fanatical Blood Angels and the yellow Eldar lived on it happily together.

One day the Blood Angels got bored of getting more and more fanatical for their everlasting purpose of protecting humanity and their Captain made a discovery...

They sounded quite terrible, since they were "howling" all the time and the guys with the pointed ears next door called them "banshees" but he has this idea so much fixed in his mind to find a date that even the generations old Dreadnought couldn't convince him to stay put.

The Captain made his plans of how to get the girls from his neighbors, he called his friends back in the place he called "the chapter" and he asked for assistance, in a few days they brought him reinforcements and nice rides for his guys.

Two cars, one with a multi barreled broomstick led the charge, supported by another red car with a big cannon and two other even bigger guns in its sides, some red guys with big guns where hanging around to his left, some guys who called themselves "the terminator" were in the front while some other guys who were obviously more intelligent than the others wore grey camouflage and hid themselves in the three trees, to their side another small team of red-clad guys argued of who would carry the missile launcher while the dreadnought stayed behind to help them solve the situation.

The Captain, who was responsible for the whole shitty situation rode in a Rhino troop carrier with five other guys, one of them carried a lighter and another one got a big hand. Sure that his ride could still carry four girls the Captain ordered the driver to push the throttle and drive to the neighbor's house. 

Sadly for him the guys with the pointed ears on the other side has foreseen the ideas of the Captain and acted accordingly, they have boarded every girl who was howling into sleek jets and some other red guys too with their own sleek melta sticks rode another one. 

Some guys who called themselves "the guardians" were left to guard the tower to the far end and some other "guardians" guarded the other building nearer to the center of the battlefield, on top of this building some other guys wore black and carried some big guns. 

Two tall guys, extremely tall for some, followed the Eldar general by running behind the sleek jet craft.

The whole idea of the battle in a matter of senses could be shown in this diagram.

Obviously the red guys are completely controlled by their ambitions, anger, stress and eagerness to try conquer the "desire" point - by using harsh language and/or possibly violence.

The exemplary part of the Blood Angels remain at their base and try to find a way to explain to the Captain the foolishness of his actions. 

Additionally the Eldar general is using Logic (attack) to prove his point, whatever it is.

Sadly the situation ended up in a armed conflict, with the Eldar opening fire first and killing several red guys, especially the ones holding the bigger guns (smart move).

The Eldar general found a way to lead the two dumb tall guys who had a problem following anyone else that him or his colleagues. 

Now that they couldn't see him since he was riding on the sleek craft he had to find out a way to make sure that they would follow him in the counter attack, the trick worked and the Eldar tall guys not only strode happily towards danger but also remained unharmed by the aggressiveness of the Blood Angel heavy weapons.

As the guns started blazing in the center of the battlefield, back in the rear of the Blood Angel lines some black guys used some quite amazing tricks to appear suddenly (and inexcusably) and blow the dreadnought apart with their guns. 

The dreadnought was busy on an argument with a tactical marine. 
History recorded the argument as highly prophetic.

The Baal class predator, leading the charge fell upon a small group of red guys that were just disembarking from one of those cool yellow jets, unsure if they were on the same side (they were also red) it didn't fired on them and instead choose to stay put and wait to see what 
they were going to do.  

The red guys known as fire dragons opened fire on the Predator tank and what happened from 
(the far too many) penetrating melta hits with can be seen on the next picture...

If you look closely on this picture you will see fragments of the Baal class predator.

But because the red glory boys got mad of the Eldar assault taking out the Baal class predator (and its driver who was good at parties) and the dreadnought (who was not good at parties) decided to return fire and the marines traveling with the captain emerged from their rhino to attack the fire dragons while one of the terminators (the one with the big gun) decided to paint with bullets the armor of the yellow craft destroying it with a lucky shot.

Back where the dreadnought was now "arguing" with the emperor, the scouts and the tactical marines decided to use their bolt pistols and then assault the black tricky guys, they thought that their bolt pistols could thin out the Eldar numbers while their assault would finish them off! 

Instead four Eldar fell dead from bolt pistol fire - something that lead to much joy for the blood angels who got over carried from their successful bolt pistol shots and completely forgot what side of the chainsword actually kills the opponent and no hits where scored in the assault.

The rhino's driver who was actually a big peeping tom came to the rear to see what's happening and just got in time to see the tricky black people getting out of the grasp of the angry red guys.

A little later the big plan the Captain had in mind of how to capture the Eldar part of the battlefield unfold! The guardians (who were obviously guarding the yellow girl's residences) heard the sounds of jet packs coming screaming from the sky, the sound was pretty similar to another sound that they heard that had to do with people coming from the sky. 

While the guardians searched for their mp3 players the new red guys closed their jump pack's to save fuel and fired their bolt pistols and melta pistols/guns/kitchen knifes on the green guys 
with the funny hats (the ones they call themselves the striking scorpions) causing some causalities.

But the whole deal didn't went as they wanted and when the Eldar returned fire a lot of the blood angel drop troops died and reassesed the situation in a "retreating" fashion 
due to the stop of the music and the causalities.

Luckily for the Blood Angels some boy scouts were around searching for the lost raccoon family and choose to come and help. They got in grips with the Eldar who were still guarding the residences and started slaughtering them. 

Seeing this the girls (who for them the whole fuzz happened) started howling to make the scouts go away but because this didn't worked too well they charged the scouts and cut them all 
to tiny pieces with their power swords.

This is the thing (the red one) known as the "space marine land speeder with the multi melta" it's something like the funny character in a horror or action movie, we can do without him, alas it made its appearance, fired a shot and destroyed this nice jet craft's gun and then it got blown up by the friendly yellow guys who were so annoyed to see their expensive craft getting damaged.

While in the rear the blood angels were busy hunting here and there the black guys who made it a habit of blowing up vehicles (the other predator tank got also its share of destruction) the terminators decided that the two tall guys in front of them were too many and took one 
down to study him.

Something that didn't made the dark reapers on the top floor too happy and started shooting on them (after they made a short work on the devastators and the marines 
who USED to be on the corner of the grey building) 

The yellow general decided to keep the last remaining tall guy with him, especially now that his yellow jet became a grey piece of ruin he could use him for a ride 
(as the two hobbits used the tall tree-guy in the lord of the rings for transport).

The Captain, decided that it was too much for him getting in front of the dark reapers who turned everything that wore power armor into powered poop and helped to hunt down the dark guys, but probably because he was still thinking of the girls he failed totally in the close combat and the dark guys got away from him too.

Also seen on the photo is the Rhino troop carrier that no one pays any attention to it anymore, they don't even fire on it! and the sergeant who has nothing left of his unit to give orders to.

The guys who at least found the howling banshees were the music friendly assault squad who decided a bit too late to go back into the fight and got themselves under attack from the banshees and got also their share of butchering.

 The striking scorpions followed just to see the butchering and take Striking poses.

Some guardians who were guarding the entrance to the dark reapers building decided to get back to reclaim the point, but a small amount of shooting from the terminators and a smart missile (from the guy in front of the picture) got them a bit confused, they lost heart and decided to continue viewing the battle from outside the battlefield.

The Blood Angels kept their residence (the three trees) but the Eldar lost theirs, the Farseer decided to to mock the Captain by sending him a photo of himself with a note (with the photo above) reminding him that he failed in his true goal.
A bit after the fight the blood angels captain was counting his dead, two of the terminators were terminated and from the tactical squad riding with him in the rhino he found the sergeant hiding like a rat in the big grey building. Of the devastators he found only one still holding his boom stick. 

While the techmarines searched they couldn't decide if the debris belonged to the Baal Predator or the dreadnought, the other Predator got immobilized from the last surviving Warp Spider. 

Some other blood angel pieces were returned in a (also sleek) box from the Eldar, some pieces belonging to the assault marines and some other pieces to the scouts.

Of the Eldar some Striking scorpions were killed, one guardian squad got heavy causalities and retreated but can now tell jokes about the other guardian squad who got light causalities and retreated. 

One of the Wraithlords got destroyed and his friend will miss him very much, Of the Warp spiders only their leader survived, one of the dark reapers got a bit darker and of the two sleek craft one got damaged and one got destroyed, its passengers, the red guys with the melta weapons got eliminated.

And this ends the hostilities for now.

For the Invulnerable.



  1. HAHAHA!! Tall guy No1!! Hahaha! Crying from laughing here! This blog has the potential to become the next big thing in 40K blogosphere! Great job Panos!!

  2. thanks mike! i am doing my worst.

  3. Loved the carrot great job :)

  4. The Wraithlords loved it too i guess.


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